Twins Sisters

Rangers 1, Twins Zero, Zip, Zilch

Poor Scotty Baker.  Check out his stats here.  He's had 10 starts this season and he's given up only 18 runs.  That's crazy good.  I don't know why the team gives Livan so much run support and then skunks Scott.  What's up with that?  They need to conserve some of their energy.  Why didn't they  save a couple of those bombs they hit on Saturday and hit them on Sunday instead?  Yeah...I know it doesn't work that way.  Wins are not the be-all end-all stat for pitchers.  No matter how good a pitcher is, he can't win a game all on his own. 

Game in progress:  The Yankees are giving the Twins a big kick in the butt.  The score is 9-3 in the bottom of the 6th, so I had to change the channel.  Here's hoping the Yankees use up all of their offensive firepower in tonight's game.

--Tricia--

p.s.  Blech!  Is it just me, or is Sidney Ponson even homlier in a Yankees uniform?   

Twins 5, Royals 1 

The Twins swept the Royals in a three game series, but of course we all know that.  Now that the Twins are leaving Kansas City, I want the Royals to go win some games. I know they're all major league athletes making a lot of money, but it would still stink to go to work and lose every day.  Blech.  The fans deserve better too.  All the people we met at last September at Kaufmann Stadium and on the bus back to the hotel after the game were so friendly.  I want the Royals to win some games for them!

Kevin Slowey pitched an amazing game yesterday.  I wish he could've gotten the complete game shut-out, but it was not to be.  I swear, I don't know where the Twins find all these young stud pitchers, but I am glad they do.  I'm starting to feel a little bad for Boof! though.  I hope that his fellow pitchers inspire him to do better.  Come on, Boof!  We know you can do it.  We're pulling for you here.  

**Cue ominous music**  The Yankees are coming to town.  We must always, always take the Yankees seriously.  It doesn't matter if they're in the middle of a 200 game losing streak.  They are capable, at any given time, of thoroughly humiliating any team and making them look like little leaguers.  I hope the Twins don't let that fate befall them.  

I was watching the Best Damn Sports Show Period last night when I should've been sleeping.  They showed a clip of Gary Matthews, then with the Texas Rangers, steal a home run away from the batter.  I mean, he must have leaped about 8 feet off the ground to catch that, and then he reached his arm over the fence.  It was cool.  Who was he stealing it from?  Mike Lamb, when he played for the Astros in 2006.  Lamb got a look on his face like, (pardon my French) holy shit, are you kidding me? After that he smiled.  He didn't do anything crabby like throw his bat on the ground or swear (out loud).  I guess sometimes you just have to give the outfielder his due for making a phenomenal catch, and figure better luck next time.  I like the way he handled that while the camera was on him.  He seems like a cool guy, and I think his defense at 3rd has been better than we expected.  

I await the series vs. the Evil Empire on pins and needles.

--Tricia--

   

I sure hope that Scott Baker can go out there tonight and outsmart those Sox.  He just needs to remember tht he's a bad ass major league pitcher.  Why, he nearly no-hit the Royals last year!  He held the mighty Detroit Tigers to one lousy run in a game last July.  Heck, he even schooled the Yankees, at Yankee Stadium, in September of '06.  I know that if he can do all that, he should be able to pitch to the Sox with one hand tied behind his back, although I wouldn't recommend it. 

I have every confidence in Scotty, I truly do, but he cannot win the game alone.  Therefore, I'm requesting that the offense score lots of runs for him.  Come on guys, you can do it!  Don't let these big, scruffy-bearded bullies win.  You don't want to drive the pitchers to drink, do you? 

Win Twins!

And just 'cause I think it's funny, I'm posting this.  It makes me laugh every time I see it.  I love watching Wayne, Garth and their buddies cruising through downtown Aurora, IL in Garth's little AMC Pacer, the Mirth Mobile. 

Right after the game that went on his record as a loss, even though he only gave up one run, on a lousy sacrifice fly, for crying out loud, Matt Garza hustled to the locker room to shower and change.  He taped a quick note to his locker.  "Gone drinkin'," it said. 

His teammates scratched their heads in bewilderment.  "Where'd he go?" Scott Baker wondered.  "And why didn't he invite me?" 

"There are times when a guy just needs to be alone, that's all," explained Mike Redmond.  "There's a place right near the stadium called Bob's Saloon and Eatery.  It looks like a hole in the wall.  A good place to be when you're feeling lugubrious." 

"Holy crap, Red Dog,"  said Cuddy.  "Great word.  What should we do?  I mean, besides score runs more often." 

"I think one of us should go to Bob's, try and talk to him.  Explain that things can only get better," Red Dog said.  "Justin, you go.  Your calm, Canadian demeanor will help, since he's feeling distressed."

"Oh, geez.  Why can't anyone talk about me without mentioning that I'm Canadian?  It's so annoying.  Ok though, I'll go," Mr. MVP said. 

So it was decided.  Justin made the hike over to Bob's Saloon and Eatery.  Just like Redmond said, it was a real hole in the wall.  It was dark, with an ancient jukebox  in the corner that played records. The newest song on it was The Macarena.  There was a beat-up pool table in the middle of the room.  There were a few sad sacks sitting on one side of the bar, nursing beers and watching TV.  "Ha," said one of the sacks, "Look at that poor schmuck.  He pitched a gem of a baseball game and got stuck with a loss.  Sucks to be him."

The poor schmuck was sitting by himself at the other end of the bar, with a full tequila shot next to him.

"Matty?" Justin asked.  "Is that you?"

"Yes,  now go away."

"You're not crying, are you?"

"Maybe," Matty said, wiping away a tear.  "I spent the first half of the season in Rochester, watching guys come up ahead of me.  I've pitched like an ace since I've been here.  Except for the game in Chicago, I've gotten squat for run support.  I'm so frustrated."

"I know," Justin said.  "We're frustrated too.  The Indians and the Tigers are losing game after game, and we can't get anything together to gain on them in the standings.  Come back with me to the stadium.  I swear we'll take extra batting practice.  We'll work the pitcher deep into counts.  I'll start hitting like an MVP again. I promise.  Sitting here in this dive won't make you feel any better."

"Like fun it won't," said Matty, sucking on the lime and downing the shot.  "But I'll go with you.  We have a plane to California to catch."

"Yeah!" Exclaimed Mr. MVP.  "We'll show the Angels what we're really made of." 

They walked out the door together, squinting into the bright Missouri sun.  Someone put a quarter in the jukebox, and The Macarena started to play. 

--Tricia--

One night, after a discouraging game, Scott Baker was sitting in the locker room looking dejected. 

"What's wrong, Scotty?" asked Johan and Carlos.

"Well," he said, "I pitched a really great game tonight.  I've been working so hard.  I just feel a little bit like crying."

Along came Matt Garza. 

"Hey man," he exclaimed.  "I feel your pain.  My ERA is still at zero and I lost a game."

Then in walked Boof.    "Hey, guys! I know we lost tonight and all, but you need to cheer up."

"Cheer up?" They all exlaimed at once.  "Why should we?" 

Boof explained.  "Don't you think you should feel proud of your achievements?  Everyone knows that wins and losses are the most meaningless stats for a pitcher.  You've all done great, better than anyone gave you credit for.  Well, except you, Johan." 

"Hey!" Johan said. 

"What I mean is, everyone knew you'd be great.  Nobody ever worries about you," Boof said.

"Ok, I guess I know what you mean," Johan said.  "But I still wish we could get more run support."

"What about me?" Asked Carlos.  "Nobody thought I'd amount to anything this season, and I pitched a 9 inning shutout!  Heck, everyone thought I should get the boot after spring training."

"Don't worry, Carlos, you've been fantastic too," said Boof.  Say, I have an idea, guys!"

"Do we get to ask our offense why they can't get hits when there are runners in scoring position?  Can we take each one of them aside and threaten them a little?" Matt wondered. 

"No, no, no!" Boof said. "They feel lousy right now too.  No point in making them feel worse."

"What's your idea then, Boof?" Scotty asked.

"I think we should all go over to Hard Rock Cafe and share a pitcher of beer.  A nice frosty one always makes me feel a little better."

They all pondered that for a minute.  "Great idea!" Matty said.  "But we need a designated driver."

"I'll do it," said Scotty.  "I still feel a little queasy after the loss. Besides, I don't have my ID on me, and I always get carded." 

"Should we invite the bullpen?" Johan asked.

"No," said Boof.  "I hear that Pat gets a little too silly when he has a few. Besides, I don't have room for the
whole pitching staff in my Suburban.  Let's go."

So off went the pitching staff to forget their woes for a few hours.  They drank beer, ate nachos, listened to music, and had a grand time at Hard Rock Cafe.

"Tomorrow is a new day," said Boof, "and things will only get better for us." 

They all lifted their glasses and clinked them together.