Unbridled Optimism

**All five starting pitchers will win 20 games apiece.  They’ll be forced to share the 2009 AL Cy Young Award.
**The bullpen won’t blow a single game.  Jesse Crain’s fastball will touch 95 mph regularly.  Matt Guerrier will rebound.  Collectively, the ‘pen’s ERA will be just a skosh over 2.
**Justin, Delmon, Kubel and New Joe will hit 30 bombs.  Each. 
**Everybody will stay healthy.  The worst injury will be maybe a pulled hammy or a fierce hangnail. 
**Go-Go will single-handedly rob opposing teams of 20 home runs.  He’ll hit 15 of them himself, all while stealing 40 bases. 
**LNP will hit .300 and have 70 RBI by season’s end.  He’ll continue to awe and amaze with his ability to fly in the infield.  No balls will sneak past him into the outfield.
**Nobody will dare to run on Cuddy.  A ball hit to right field will result in nothing more than a single. 
**Delmon and Go-Go will be patient at the plate.  Both of them will draw at least as many walks as strikeouts. 
**Finally, Joey isn’t really hurt.  He’s merely testing out his new bionic parts.  They’re just chips implanted by his elbows, knees and wrists. They’re perfectly legal, because they don’t make him stronger, just more durable.  In fact, he made a deal with the front office.  They agreed to pay for the bionics, and he agreed to finish out his career with the Twins.  For a discount. 
**All of these 100 percent accurate, guaranteed predictions will result in at least 115 wins for the Twins in ‘09. 

The countdown starts now.  172 hours and 25 minutes until the beginning of the season!

–Tricia–